How I Chose Them, But They Didn’t Choose Me- My Failed (Workplace) Relationship

I finally did it! I finally made it into a job in my field that I loved. I woke up every day and enjoyed going to work. I enjoyed the work, I enjoyed the team, it was great! So I thought……

Employee-employer relationships, like all relationships, need to be mutual. If they are not, it does not end well. I waited for months for my so-called “dream relationship” to accept me. I followed up email, after email, after email. I wanted this relationship, badly. Finally, they said, “We are ready!” I was so excited; I finally was getting to be in a relationship I actually enjoyed.

But guess what, so many red flags I ignored in this relationship. In a relationship, when you ignore red flags, doesn’t it always end bad?? Naïve ole’ me.


Red Flag 1: When I initially started the 5-month long process, I set my expectations. Finally, when I heard back, everything was below my expectations. But I thought, it’s okay, there is a plus side. I will be happy.

Red Flag 2: My commute was not easy and not close, it wasn’t cheap either, but I said the experience was worth it.

(Now don’t get me wrong, I am a big advocate of experience and happiness over money, but make sure you can comfortably make ends meet)

Red Flag 3: No benefits.  (Have you ever been in a relationship where you did everything for your partner, but they didn’t give much in return?) This was my first.

(After starting the relationship Red Flags)

Red Flag 4: Multiple failed relationships before me. When I noticed this, I should’ve been searching for a new relationship. But, no, not hardworking dedicated me.

Red Flag 5: I started to notice, there was not much room for growth. Could be in that relationship for 4 years with no hope for marriage.

Red Flag 6: All of my deadlines started being pushed up and I was being rushed. DUH! Everything needed to be finished before I hit the chopping block.


I chose them, but they did not choose me. Knowing how much I wanted that relationship, that was taken advantage of. I showed my cards to quickly. I ignored all the red flags, but the universe decided, “since you aren’t opening your eyes, I’ll help you.”



person people woman hand

They broke up with me! I dreaded hearing those words, I spent the day distraught, but the next day, I was back to it. Time to find a new relationship.  I needed that, I needed to have a wakeup call.

I went somewhere I wasn’t valued, somewhere that took advantage of my dedication to them. These are things I should’ve had seen, but I do not regret it, it was a lesson. I am grateful that I got this lesson so young.




This Lesson Opened Greater Opportunities

This wakeup call allowed me to be chosen, not by one, not by two, but by 3 who valued me, who saw my hard work, who chose me before I chose them. Now the hard part, I HAVE TO CHOOSE! I HAVE OPTIONS. I think I am off to a good long-term relationship.

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