Relationships: Romantic and Friendships

 

Let’s start with the obvious, I am only in my early 20’s. I get it, hence the category. Moving on.

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Relationships are tough to figure out, whether you’re 16 or 60. Everyone stills struggles with them. But I’ll share what I’ve learned from mine.

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Romantic relationships are very challenging because often time they hurt more than other forms of relationships when they fail. We invest so much into making someone else happy and happy with us that we fail to make ourselves happy and make it our partners job to do that.

What I’ve Learned

  1. If you find yourself trying to change someone or see someone not changing, walk away.
    1. Walking away will always benefit you. Walking away can do one of two things, allow that person to realize the changes they need to make or allow you to find someone who is what you wanted in a partner. Not walking away can tear you and break you and in the long run, affect future relationships. Don’t give someone that much power.
      1. DISCLAIMER: Sometimes it is okay to go back.
    2. Embrace each other’s journey
      1. We are young!!!! We aren’t all rich, we don’t have it all figured, we still struggle supporting ourselves, so imagine supporting two people. If you’re not growing together in a relationship, then you are growing apart. You do not have to stay for the growth. Sometimes it’s just not meant for you. Sometimes we have to realize we both are growing and supporting each other’s growth will make you a strong force.
    3. It takes two
      1. In my opinion, being in relationships at this age and expecting every responsibility to be taken on by one person is ridiculous. See number 2. We are all growing. I feel as if we put too much pressure on each other based on either, gender, age or merit. We want to be treated like kings and queens, so treat EACH OTHER like kings and queens.

Friendships

Friendships are tough becauseImage result for friends silhouette we grow up thinking they are forever. But reality hits us and we still struggle accepting it.

  1. No friend should tear you down to build you up
    1. Sometimes friends say they give you tough love because not everyone will. That’s fine (for some), but not all friends know the difference between tough love and just being tough. A friend should be honest with you, sometimes blunt, but not brutal. You need someone to build you up because we often times at this age need that reassurance while we are facing the journey of hardships.
  2. Everyone is not your friend
    1. Often, we make “friends” with coworkers, classmates, dorm-mates, and you get the point. Sometimes those become lifelong friends, but remember, EVERYONE is not your friend. We have to be careful with how comfortable we get with people. I can understand how it is easy, but remember we are at a vulnerable age and other who are also vulnerable take advantage easily.
  3. Sometimes, you have to let go
    1. This may be hard to do for us, but we have to realize not all friends grow with us. Never be the smartest one in the room, I am sure you heard that. We have to make sure we surround ourselves with people who are always growing and looking for more, so we can continue to grow. If we are not, we can get held back. sometimes those friends do not want to see us thrive and do everything to hold you back out of spite or jealousy and holding on only holds us back.

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